10 HELPFUL DOS AND DON'TS FOR

SUCCESSFUL RESOLUTION OF

DISAGREEMENTS

1

DO enter the discussion with genuine good faith, a positive attitude, and knowing there is love.

DON'T make assumptions about the other's intentions or attitudes.

2

DO pay attention to your tone, your body language, your words, and volume. Monitor yourself to keep the conversation meaningful and productive.

DON'T turn your back or walk away from an argument without first making a statement about a later continuation of the discussion.

3

DO listen attentively while the other person speaks.

DON'T interrupt or spend the time thinking of an answer.

4

DO use reflective listening and empathize with the other person. ("So,
what you're saying is that . . . Is that correct?" or "Sounds that you're upset that . . ." or "It seems that you are very angry.").

DON'T disallow the other's feelings ("I'm sure that it wasn't that bad." or, "You are too young to know what you mean.")

5

DO express your feelings clearly and assertively.

DON'T start your sentence with the word "You", it usually makes the other person feel accused and defensive.

6

DO be respectful of the other person.

DON'T use name-calling or quarrel in front of others.

7

DO pick your battles.

DON'T try to impose rules that are unrealistic or not worth implementing in the end.

8

DO strike when the iron is cool.

DON'T allow yourself to get into an argument when the emotions are too strong. It will be difficult for you or the other person to maintain self-control.

9

DO set the rules and consequences clearly, and implement them consistently.

DON'T threaten to withhold your affection as a result of an argument.

10

DO brainstorm solutions together. Summarize the agreements, and set a time to review progress.

DON'T break your side of the agreement or forget to follow up on reviews agreed upon.

Website © 2008. All rights reserved.
Maria Garcia-Larrieu, PA. & Designbits Technology Services, INC.
Privacy Policy   |   back to psydocmiami.com